Freddie moved to our Lilac Lodge home in August 2025, after his previous residential placement came to an end. By then, he had already lived in five different homes.

His early childhood was marked by neglect, domestic abuse and parental alcohol and substance misuse. He was often left without proper supervision and, at times, without enough food or suitable clothing. His health needs were not consistently met, and severe dental neglect still affects his confidence and the foods he can eat comfortably.

In 2022, Freddie and four of his siblings were removed from their parents’ care. Several placement moves followed, leaving him struggling to trust adults, manage his emotions or make friends with children his own age.

Unsettled nights

Freddie’s first months at Lilac Lodge were challenging. He often stayed awake throughout the night, experienced frequent night terrors and would hide food in his bedroom – a sign of how anxious he felt about having his basic needs met.

He was not attending education and needed a lot of support with personal care. When upset, he could spit, throw objects and lash out at the adults caring for him. Behind these behaviours was a young boy who had never known what it felt like to be safe.

Building trust, one night at a time

The team focused on consistent staffing, clear routines and a warm, nurturing approach, so Freddie had the same familiar faces around him every day. They used PACE, which stands for Playfulness, Acceptance, Curiosity and Empathy, to help him through difficult moments, and worked closely with clinical professionals to shape his care.

Waking-night staff made sure someone was always there to reassure him. The team created a safe space in his bedroom, introduced sleep aids and let him sleep with his door open until he felt ready to close it.

Gradually, Freddie settled into a consistent bedtime routine and began asking staff for reassurance when he needed it. This was a real turning point, reducing his anxiety and giving him a stronger foundation for everything that followed. A Yoto box, a children’s audio player for stories and music, has helped too. One of his care team shared:

“Since receiving his Yoto box its nice to see how this has helped Freddie to continue his healthier sleep pattern.”

Growing in confidence

Today, Freddie attends school full time and is engaging well with his learning. He bathes himself and manages his hygiene routines with very little prompting, taking particular pride in looking after his teeth.

His personality is really shining through. He loves Pokémon and takes great pride in his card collection. He enjoys swimming, especially free swim sessions where he can go at his own pace, and often expresses himself through singing. More recently, he has discovered a love of football, which has even led to a trial with a local team.

Friendships with other children can still be tricky, but Freddie has built strong, trusting relationships with his care team. He also enjoys family time six times a year, helping him stay connected to those closest to him.

Looking ahead

Freddie has often said he would like to live with other children in the future. To help him work towards this, the team are supporting him to join activities, clubs and community experiences, and to talk about his feelings rather than react through aggression.

With the team beside him, Freddie is building the skills and confidence he needs to take that next step when the time is right.

Since I came to Lilac, I feel much happier and settled. I’m really proud of how well I’m doing. I don’t spit anymore, and I love going to school every day!”

Quote from Freddie