Alfie was seven years old when he arrived at Red Lake House, a smiley, energetic little boy. Before coming to us, he had lived on and off with his foster carers since birth, spending a period of time living with his mum in between. When his foster carers felt they could no longer meet his needs, Alfie had to leave them, which left him feeling a little sad.

Alfie’s early life had been marked by uncertainty. He was exposed to substances before he was born and spent six weeks in a special care baby unit after his birth. Later, while living with his mum, he witnessed domestic abuse and was exposed to her substance use, at times being taken to places that were not safe for him. He also has a heart condition that doctors continue to monitor each year.

These experiences affected him deeply. Alfie found it hard to trust people and to make and keep positive relationships with adults and other children. He was often on high alert, an understandable response to everything he had been through. Although he was seven, emotionally he was functioning more like a five-year-old, and managing big feelings was a real challenge. He had also missed a great deal of school and was falling behind his peers, both socially and academically.

Through it all, Alfie’s mum has always been supportive of her son. She was understandably worried about him living so far away, but the team and professionals reassured her and supported her to keep seeing Alfie every week. She quickly saw that he was in the right place, with the right people.

Learning to feel safe

When Alfie first arrived, he lived in his own home at Red Lake House, cared for each day by two adults. The team welcomed him with lots of nurture and clear boundaries, working quickly to help him feel safe. He loved his new bedroom and was very interested in meeting the older young person living next door.

The early weeks were difficult. Alfie needed to know exactly what was happening each day – where he was going, which adults would be caring for him and whether anyone was visiting. When he did not understand something, or did not get what he wanted straight away, he would often become physically aggressive or try to run off up the drive. Incidents happened every day, and he would test the team to see how they would respond. Even talking about education could cause him instant distress.

Night times were especially hard. Alfie struggled to settle and would get up many times to check which adults were looking after him, needing carers to sit nearby until he fell asleep. He also found it difficult to eat healthily, sometimes eating large amounts in one sitting – possibly a result of not always having access to food when he was younger.

Building trust through play and routine

Every adult caring for Alfie uses PACE, which stands for Playfulness, Acceptance, Curiosity and Empathy, throughout the day. Alongside this, the team kept routines, structure and boundaries consistent so that his days felt predictable.

Alfie is a very active, outdoorsy boy, and play became one of the most powerful ways to connect with him. Playing games like football and basketball together helped him feel cared for and began to build his trust. When he became upset, the team used redirection, distraction and humour to help him calm down, reconnecting with him without him feeling rejected or ashamed.

The team also made sure Alfie always knew the plans for the day and week, and involved him in making them. This sense of ownership helped him feel less on edge and in a much happier frame of mind.

Regular visits from his mum made a big difference too. She joins in activities with Alfie at the home and speaks very highly of the team, which helped him see that he was safe and cared for. Phone calls with his mum also reassured him, as he often worried about her.

With support from his GP and a consistent bedtime routine, Alfie’s sleep has improved significantly. He now settles well at night and generally sleeps through, and very early mornings are now rare.

Turning points

Over time, Alfie began to follow the rules and boundaries of his home, and even told his carers that he liked them. He started to say openly that he felt safe at Red Lake House, sharing his feelings and worries and accepting reassurance from the adults around him.

His friendship with the older young person next door also helped him settle. She was kind and responsive towards him, and Alfie really wanted to share a home with her. The team worked with him on thinking about others and their feelings, and he worked really hard, eventually moving into the same home as his peer.

The team then began trying short outings with just one adult, such as trips to the shop, with a second adult always available if needed and professionals kept fully informed. Alfie responded so positively that his staffing was reduced from two adults to one – a great achievement in a relatively short time, and a clear sign of how safe he now feels.

Growing in confidence

Today, Alfie’s incidents have significantly reduced, and when they do happen they are short and well managed. The team know him really well, and he is much better at sharing his needs, wishes, thoughts and feelings.

He now attends a specialist school every day, a setting that suits him perfectly. He gets up on time, is eager to leave for school and tells his carers he is really enjoying it. He has made friends his own age, and while he still sometimes finds it hard to follow the rules at school, staff say he is getting better. Considering how much learning he had missed, his progress has been remarkable.

At home, Alfie tidies his room and makes his bed each morning, brushes his teeth and gets dressed with a little encouragement, and helps with small jobs like taking his dishes to the sink. He sleeps well and eats much better.

Alfie throws himself into everything. He could not swim when he arrived, but has now reached Level 3 and is keen to keep moving up, proudly displaying his certificates and badges in his room. He has won prizes in the regional bake off and garden in bloom competitions, loves long walks exploring nature, and enjoys the newsletters and photos the home shares of his activities. Despite everything he has been through, he is passionate about life and loves to have fun.

Looking ahead

For now, Alfie is thriving at Red Lake, at his own pace, and there is no plan for him to move on yet. In the longer term, the plan is for him to move to a foster placement when the time is right. Until then, the team will continue to support him with relationships, friendships, education and understanding himself and the world around him, so that he continues to feel safe.

Alfie would like to make more friends, which he is already building on at school. He also says that when his mummy gets well, he would like to go and live with her when he is 18.

“From day one, you have been incredibly understanding, empathic and sensitive to his trauma and his needs. You formulated a bespoke support plan for Alfie that was reviewed on a daily and weekly basis as required. Your understanding of his trauma has been evident in our discussions, I have felt very confident that your emphasis was and is completely child focused. I have been very impressed with your commitment to Alfie,”

Quote from a professional

 

*We have changed the name to protect the young person’s identity.